I am a team lead and my team members are at least my level of competency (which means they're usually better than me). I listen carefully, trust the team and shield them from problems from above.

It sounds like you’re a good team lead.

My current manager, one of the best I’ve ever had, is much the same. Technically not superb. But at least pretty good. Also a great listener, and really keyed in to what the team is up to, struggling with, contributing, etc.

The TL I had the issue with very much behaved like an IC, almost never met with me, seemed to be dialing it in most of the time, and just generally was very hard to explain things to. An absent parent, more than a bad parent.

Sounds like that makes you a pretty good team lead, though. Competence isn't all technical -- you have to be good at what you do. There's no benefit in a team lead that sucks at leading a team but is a total luminary at $TECHNICAL_TOPIC.

Same exact situation. Bad team leads usually come with bad management, as these can't seem to notice how bad a climate they generate around them.

Key points to bad team leadership: bad or no communication at all with your team members, no clear vision/direction, lack of ability to delegate.

Exact same reason as me. They were the personification of Dunning-Kruger. It's so damn disheartening to go to work everyday when you know what you are working on is absolutely doomed to fail, and you are powerless to stop it thanks to office politics.

You might look around a bit. Alternately, I’ve found that not caring about consequences can be surprisingly liberating. As in: if it’s really that hopeless, you may as well speak your mind and say what’s fucked up. What are they going to do, fire you?

I know the feeling; it's not a good one

Currently dealing with that one myself. Wouldn't be bad if he'd just learn to delegate.

What's a polite way of telling someone "Lead, follow, or get out of the effing way?"

Not sure there is an effective way to tell your boss he sucks at his job.

Saying it during the exit interview would probably have the most impact.