I come from a relationship with my family like the one you described. Now my mother is dead, my father married another woman and all the advice and control they gave me is gone and they barely remember these expectations which some of them I fulfilled but actually at some point I left my home and worked in another city without having money to pay even my lunch. That made me make a lot of money, move from a third world country and meet the love of my life. I didn't have diabetes so maybe for you it might be different, but unless you take control of your life and start to have frequently moments which you are 100% responsible for, you will never truly live.
I always felt weak and had my fair amount of health imperfections, but I once thought that if I'm a bird with an undeveloped wing and I need to do my first flight, I would rather crash my face to the ground and die than to live a shitty life being abused by everybody.
Maybe you can fix your disadvantage with your brain and become a bird that makes other birds fly for yourself.
Also take out this disadvantage mindset. You should make your strong points stronger. You have gone through some crazy shit that those perfect rich white males probably never went. So at least at something you can excell.
Please also take my opinion with a grain of salt, you know your life better than me. Cheers
If you are living with controlling parents or other controlling people, you need to very quietly start laying the groundwork for getting out of that situation (without signalling to them that you are moving on -- that only gives them the chance to sabotage your efforts). Don't keep people close to you and give them control over your life who don't genuinely respect you and have your best interests at heart.
Second, you need to prioritize taking care of your health.
Third, you need to stop focusing so much on what you can't do and start focusing more on what you can do.