> It’s just common sense to compare like with like.

I guess we should agree to disagree :-). I think you should adapt your lifestyle to the area you live in. Here's an analogy: let's say I love fresh sushi. If I live near the coast and a healthy fishing industry, it'll be good and cheap. If I live in Las Vegas, it can still be had but it'll cost me. Do I keep up my expensive sushi habit in Vegas and complain about the cost-of-living? Or do I just eat less of it and accept that there are benefits to being in Vegas that outweigh the more expensive sushi?

Besides that, no $250k-earning employee is living in a shared apartment with a commute to make ends meet in SF. If they live that way, it's to maximize their savings.

Vegas provides plenty of dining and entertainment options to make up for lost sushi. It’s not worse, just different. The anolgoue in SF lifestyles would be a high-rise condo instead of a house, proximity to transit instead of a nice car, etc. The frugal options in SF are not just different, but straight-up worse.

When a majority of that $250k is in Monopoly money (i.e. most of the time), they absolutely are.

My family of four live on that FBer's income in a nice single family rental and still save over half that IBMer's gross income. I can mortgage a multi-family dwelling in the Midwest every 4-5 years or so, invest in stocks/index funds, and generally do a lot more than the IBMer will ever be able to.