In this case, Torvalds is swearing at someone who agrees with him (see Andy Shevchenko's response) because he hasn't bothered to seek clarification before calling it "pure and utter garbage".
Yeah, there were few reasons why I decide to make that patch (OK, it seems I staked on not the best reason).I don't want to assume too much about your wife's job or personality, but I'd also assume she would swear in a way that was reciprocal with those under therapy, based on a communication style they had established together... as opposed to her swearing at them while they were being perfectly polite.
It'd certainly make a good sitcom.
"we're fucked" <-- feared consequence
"You are fucking us up!" <-- your actions are harming the group.
Not "you are a fuck" and no shunning from the group.
I don't care for the tone, and all the dark patterns could be there too in the meeting, but your single quote on its own is not evidence of dysfunction.
I don't know if that's good or not, but it's not just in software that harsh words are used. And their stridency makes clear that this is an exceptionally significant point. I imagine that Linus's many more blandly worded emails don't result in this level of attention, so you wouldn't even be aware of his points there.