We've done all these things. It's a great list and I would only add one more item, to be used sparingly, and that is to give 'em a small dose of familial culture motivation. Saying things like, "Pearces learn to read, and read a lot. You will. It's the only way to be smart."

The purpose is just to cover all the motivational bases. Usually they'll want to read for fun or due to their inquisitive nature, but sometimes, my kids would give me lip about how they never wanted to learn to read or how they can just listen to audio. At those times, I just gently plant the cultural seed and let it go to work in their head, motivating them with a sense of duty.

>Saying things like, "Pearces learn to read, and read a lot. You will. It's the only way to be smart."

I'm a reader, at least when I've time for leisure I'll read pretty much anything but gravitate towards international espionage and SciFi. My mother reads fiction vociferously.

However, "it's the only way to be smart" seems too much; the suggestion that 'members of this family read a lot' seems too much like undue psychological pressure. As if you'll disown them if they don't read as much as you.

If my sons choose not to carry on reading at the pace I've set them off at I won't necessarily think it's bad. One can learn as much from people IMO. If they dissociate from all avenues of learning then yes it'll be a major problem.

Indeed, there are many subjects where, wrt books, direct interaction with people and materials are far better for learning.

>"motivating them with a sense of duty"?

Huh? Duty to whom?

We'll probably say something like this to our kids two or three time in their lifetimes.

Listen, a family culture exists whether you acknowledge it and actively try to create it or not. What I'm saying, is that one of the many tools available to a parent is to motivate their children by encouraging them to be a part of that culture. Obviously, it doesn't work or is psychologically damaging if the culture sucks. There are plenty of examples of this tactic being abused, which is why I state it has to be used sparingly, and I'll add by parents who've really thought it through, love their children, and are training them to be independent thinkers. I'm raising kids who will tell me, at an early age, if they think our family culture sucks.

Duty to whom? To the family and their way of thinking, of course.

>Listen, a family culture exists whether you acknowledge it and actively try to create it or not.

>Duty to whom? To the family and their way of thinking, of course.

I think that our family "culture" is simply emergent out of the interplay of our individual characters; the kids are obviously part of that culture whether they're pulling in the direction you want/hoped/prefer/demand or not.

I'm in for a chat over a couple of cold ones on these things but it's a bit too OT for here I think. Thanks for the thought-fodder I'll find a proxy for you and see how it all goes.

How my parents raised me to read:

1. Got me a library card and took me to the library often.

2. No Nintendo during the week. (And in fact, they did not buy me the system at all, my grandparents gave it to me as a gift several years after all my friends had one)

edit: Also, I spent time with cousins who also read a lot. Having peers who read and can recommend books is great encouragement.

I have no idea why parents don't buy their children Kindles instead of a Nintendo DS.

Two reasons, both invalid but sympathizable:

1) Everyone else is buying DS's for their kids. I almost feel like I'm judging people to not get one for our kids.

2) Parenting in America is playing defense, reacting to kids boredom, whining, and manipulating. Defense only lasts so long before surrender.

Wow, I must be a terrible parent, because I can't sympathize with either of those.

My son's been playing the same PS2 for years. If he's bored, I tell him to read a book or go run around outside or he can help me with something. If he doesn't want that, well I can find him some chores to keep him busy. If he whines, I tell him I don't want to hear it: go do it somewhere else. Attempting to be manipulative e.g., playing one parent against the other generally gets whatever he wanted taken away for a while.

He (almost 10 years old) absolutely loves to read and we happily feed that habit. Video games/cartoons are a privilege rationed out carefully and taken away when behavior problems arise.

I worry a lot more that I don't have time to take my son fishing than whether or not he's got the same toys his friends do.

I learned at a young age to never ever tell my parents I was bored. My children have learned the same lesson.

We also limit our kids to one hour of video games a week, only to be used on Saturday or Sunday. After homework and chores are finished.

They all love to read and the local librarian knows them all by name.

I have always liked my parent's approach to "I'm bored". I wasn't afraid to say I was bored; I just knew that they'd tell me "Being bored is a choice. Find something to do." and refuse to help me.

As a result, I have never been bored for more than about 5 minutes at a time for nearly a decade. (well, besides classes. But even then I don't think of myself as bored)

I do - because many parents weren't raised to read themselves.

Great advice. I grew up seeing that my dad always had a book with him. When he'd take my mom shopping he'd sit in the car and read. Wasn't long before I wanted to sit with dad and read too.

Also, while we had Atari/Nintendo/etc, that was limited to 30min a night. Reading was unlimited. Both parents took me to the library often and I got my first Library card in kindergarten.

I grew up to love reading and plan on using the same tactics with my own children.

Exactly the same formula worked for us: 3 boys; all stellar performers.

I added: ban game boxes from the house. No great loss - the boys never missed them, thought they were stupid compared to what they had (books, board games, family).

>I added: ban game boxes from the house. No great loss - the boys never missed them, thought they were stupid compared to what they had (books, board games, family).

Do you have a TV?

We have a TV for DVDs only but I let my eldest play games occasionally and imagine that both lads will play their share of Nintendo (or whatever) as they grow up. I find games less troublesome (depending on theme) as they are interactive usually involve consideration of tactics or puzzle solving and are fun. They don't have commercials either.

Presumably they don't play games on a PC either as that would be functionally equivalent (wouldn't it?)?

I think computer games can be different. Depth of play, size of universe, and an online community.

Yes, we had a TV while they were growing up. A small set in the family room. The boys never used it - it was for my wife.

Sure they played their share of console games - at other people's houses. That was social.

What's bad is having your own console in your room for instance. No need to share, no social interaction, no reason to come out of your room for 13 years in fact. That's sick and disfunctional.

We are in fact a heavy computer-game-playing family. We have over 100 titles on a shelf. But we played them at appropriate times, WITH one another, either networked or all sitting behind the keyboard and collaborating. Some of the best family times that they remember.

Another motivator we've used for our older boy: give him reading time before bed. Now he's allowed to stay up a bit later (a benefit of homeschooling is there's no pesky bus to catch the next morning), as long as he reads. He really looks forward to this time now.

I'll add another - try getting a book on a subject that holds their interest. My 5 year old recently spent every evening of a 2 week trip getting his grand-father to read him his cherished "Big Book Of Bugs".

My son is 5 and has proven to be a total scientist. His current favorite book: H A Rey's The Stars, A New Way to See Them. We take that, a red flashlight, and binoculars out back before bed. He insists on learning the stories. The "kit" of the book, binos and red light sit on the coffee table by the back door, ever ready.

http://www.amazon.com/Stars-New-Way-See-Them/dp/0395248302/r...

Here's a new topic, please tell us about great books you recommend for boys: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1724596

To add to the great comment above, especially for the parents here considering instructing their children on the formalities of reading, make sure your children learn the sound-symbol correspondences of English (or whatever language's) writing system and skills for pronouncing unfamiliar words first seen in print. All four of my children, now avid readers, got a lot of help from the book Let's Read: A Linguistic Approach by Leonard Bloomfield and Clarence Barnhart.

http://www.amazon.com/Lets-Linguistic-Approach-Leonard-Bloom...

I like the stories in that book, too, especially the very last story.

I have one boy that reads constantly. I too used a lot of the points here and seems to have worked, thinking about it my parents did the same with me.

I will, however, chime in and mention that we also have a PS3/Wii/PS2/Gamecube/N64/NES & 2 DSs that are all in use, and often played, so the systems being around has not impacted his love of reading. He'll often put his DS down and pick up his most recent book. My daughter is the same way.

I think that point #8 is likely the biggest reason for this, as although I like to game, I often will be reading instead.

My Dad was a big reader so 8 was probably the big motivator. Although I grew up in the 3 TV channels/no game box era so the inside distractions were pretty low. We were pretty poor for a while (Dad went back to school) and I went from Dr. Seuss to whatever Dad was done reading (War/Action/Sci-Fi). I will say 1st edition AD&D probably did a heck of a lot for my and my brother's reading comprehension.

It's posts like yours when I wish that HN had a "save" feature.

It does, sort of. If you upvote a story, it is added to the "saved stories" link on your profile page.

I use Devonthink Pro: http://devon-technologies.com/products/devonthink/index.html , which has a handy bookmarklet so I can highlight text, click a button, and have it automatically saved to my main database, along with the URL where it came from.

I use DTP as described here: http://www.stevenberlinjohnson.com/movabletype/archives/0002... .