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A comment on What to do with a screaming baby: the history of handbooks on motherhood. Parent comment

Re:What to do with a screaming baby: the history of handbook... by bonniemuffin on Friday May 11, 2018 @10:17PM (#17052135)
I think it's mostly because, in a very real sense, men have always been able to have it all. Men have always been able to have children and a career (because their wives stayed home to raise them!), so the quote isn't as poignant for them.

BUT -- I do think it's actually useful to talk about "parents having it all", because all those breadwinner men with stay-at-home wives missed out on a lot of quality bonding time with their kids. They may have thought they had it all, but they actually missed out on developing real, meaningful relationships with their kids.

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Re:What to do with a screaming baby: the history of handbook... by pbhjpbhj on Saturday May 12, 2018 @12:33PM (#17054788)
It sounds like you've completely misunderstood the aphorism "raising kids and a having a career". It's not the state of being a biological parent that's sought after (which yes parents have automatically) but of _raising_ children.

You can't raise children in absentia. If you're concentrating on your career you simply can't dedicate yourself to raising children.

So, no fathers haven't always had it all because having it all is a practical impossibility in almost all walks of life.

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Re:What to do with a screaming baby: the history of handbook... by bonniemuffin on Saturday May 12, 2018 @04:33PM (#17055879)
I think you and I are saying exactly the same thing here. That's exactly what I meant by "they actually missed out on developing real, meaningful relationships with their kids."
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