An hour long one-way commute is certainly not the norm. Working for free beyond 8 hours is certainly not the norm. I work at a client site, and bill 40.0 hours a week. I work approximately 41.5 hours a week, including my commute.

The average commute will be somewhere in the middle, sure. But just tossing out that work takes half of most people's day is disingenuous - it only does that if you let it, and if you choose not to live close to your office. I understand that's not always an option, especially in SF/NYC, but if you're willing to base your housing choices in part on where you're working, it's generally not difficult to have a sub-30 minute one-way commute.

And letting work keep you up at night is 100% a choice.