Add to this that the payout mechanics strongly incentivize pooled mining, even for people with powerful miners, and the "guarantees" get that much flimsier. A small handful of men ultimately control the Bitcoin network because they have authority over 50%+ of the hash power, and they've all been in the same room on multiple occasions. It's no different than the small handful of men who control the Fed / other major financial institutions in our fiat systems.
Bitcoin was an excellent thought experiment, but it's no wonder that Satoshi wants nothing to do with what it has become.
Also "A small handful of men ultimately control the Bitcoin network because they have authority over 50%+ of the hash power"
I think that's a bit hyperbolic. A small handful of men control where the hashing power currently is. However, that can change very quickly. If you don't like what a pool is trying to use your hashing power for, leave that pool.
Examples: copper, gold, land, art, wireless spectrum, currency.
There's a perfectly valid rationale to hold each of these assets, and none of them are "productive" by themselves.
Each of these has scarcity and utility. That's what matters.
When you buy a Bitcoin, you are helping to convert electricity to heat.