I think both of these can be true. I think (hope?) most people would agree that the toxically masculine way we often raise boys ("no crying! man up! don't be a wuss!") is abusive and awful. In the critical response to this kind of toxic masculinity, I think some of the rhetoric has been a bit inelegant, and has made some men feel attacked. I think it's especially easy for boys/young men to struggle to grok the necessary nuance to these kinds of discussions.