Re:Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?
by mlinsey on Monday April 21, 2008 @01:19PM
(#169612)
I found that "How to Make Friends and Influence People" was really good but more suited to the workplace/building up business contacts.
Re:Ask YC: Best ways to become socially adept?
by mrtron on Monday April 21, 2008 @04:36PM
(#169858)
Valid point, it did have that feel.
But I think the key points are suited to all interactions. If you are first meeting someone...and I don't know how to phrase this to be politically correct...you are 'intimately' interested in, perhaps telling them about your magic card collection isn't the best approach. You could discuss his/her Starcraft skills instead :)
Boy, yeah, I have that problem. In my undergrad, there was a teacher I really respected, and I really wanted to get to know him, but I always felt like such a waste of his time. Happens with most older guys I really respect who don't go out of their way to befriend me.
However, if it's a matter of professional self interest, there's no problem. I'm quite bold going up and talking to people very senior in rank.
Oh you said besides that...well practice what it preaches. Us folk (geeks/nerds/hackers) tend to like to show how much we know about a subject. Some old dude is talking about how his phone can now surf the web...what do you say? Act a bit surprised and ask him a bit more about the subject. Let HIM show what he knows, and get that little feeling of self-importance. Don't squash it by saying you could ssh in to work on your phone 5 years ago and that his phone is garbage.
Also practice, and have someone judge your performance. There are a zillion things to improve on here, it is a difficult art to master. I would also say it is a long road that I wouldn't be satisfied in saying I know well until I can sit in a room with anyone at anytime and befriend them and/or convince them they want to reconnect with me again shortly.
One last thing, I have the most difficulty talking to people I know well and respect. For example, I was recently discussing business and my goals with an old co-worker I really respected, and I found myself a bit flustered. Anyone else experienced this and/or have any suggestions?