"I want to help them, but the answer isn't more subsidies. I want to see her get that better job, even if it means losing the assistance. I want to see Dad stay in the home because that's so critical for developing emotional control in young adults. I want their son to grow up scrappy and industrious, with a good sense of how to get by even things are tough because tough times happen for everyone."

In other words, you want to help the person in a way that doesn't require you to pay anything or spend any of your time.