Whether there is a net-gain in exchange for an extremely rare potential scenario which every party is massively disincentived from ever pursuing even a minor exchange of 'tactical' nukes... let alone the even smaller probability 'world ending' volleys. War was brutal for centuries and was only getting more destructive until nukes.
As much as Oppenheimer may have regretted his involvement it's still has not turned into the total disaster many predicted. We could certainly do more to minimize the threat by reducing stockpiles but from a pure philosophical view of having nukes or not...eh I see a good argument in favour of it.
Likewise people clicking on ads has generated tons of value for society and is a big foundation of the recent technical progress we've all benefited from. This is the tradeoff we've exchange for the relatively minor downside risk of ads making people engage in meaningless consumerist pursuits or unhealthy behaviour or be lied to slightly more efficiently by politicians.
At the height of Watergate a drunken Nixon was quoted as saying "You know what the difference between us is? I'll tell you, I can walk out of this room right now and give an order and a hour later 80 million people are dead". Cuba was nearer the real deal that either side realised, we've had launch orders ignored and lose weapons that were a fail from going off - which almost certainly would have been interpreted as a strike.
And yet people construct everything as ok.
Sorry, I'm really struggling to take this example seriously, despite the fact it was obviously meant in jest and Nixon was far smarter than most people give him credit for, as it ignores so much context, obvious deterrents, and basic common sense that it hardly changes the equation at all.
Nor does the two potential major known nuclear near-accidents, as I've already conceded that much could be done to minimize the risk. Yet it could still be entirely logical to maintain nuclear weapons as an option going forward and to hold the opinion it was historically ultimately beneficial to society as a whole...
Sadly and wickedly many horrible people all over the world have reached the same conclusion.
https://ourworldindata.org/war-and-peace
In the short-term anyway (by which I mean 1945 to the present day), the advent of nuclear weaponry seems to have decreased the number of humans killed. And that was certainly the most reasonable rationale for the use of nuclear warheads to end WW2.