> Who paid for college?
I've reflected on this question before. My parents paid for college. Although I went at their urging. I was already writing software every day, to be honest I didn't see the value in a degree.
I started another online business in college, and employed my brother until I sold the company a few years later. My parents gave my brother and I a monthly stipend, but I made multiples of it with the online business.
I also incorporated lessons learned from this company into my father and I's company.
Generally, I agree with all of your points/questions.
> [He] was paying for things for you
I do think about this. But if your child has a skill, does that mean if you cloth them and feed them, you are entitled to work for free? I doubt many would agree there.
> I think you're seeing green a little
There is no discussion to be had if the business wasn't making any money. It wouldn't matter who owned 100% of $0 profit. I was part of building a multi-million dollar company, and the thought of having to redo the sleepless nights (Pulling all-nighters in high school making new stuff or after our shared host upgraded their php install and our shop started segfaulting), just seems crazy. I put in the work and I was a big part of building something great.
> want more power than your brother
Also true. I'm not sure I could disagree with his style of management any more. He is, unfortunately, not able see long term, and will cut his nose to spite his face. We just disagree, and the thought of having to have some kind of 'consensus' about decisions is not appealing.
> I have no idea what he already gifted you
I believe the note just literally just said 'ownership'. And hasn't been mentioned since.
> You could go get lawyers involved but win or lose, you'll lose.
Agreed.
If this business's profits paid for yours and your brother's college education, as well as supported the family while you lived there you need to take that into account. You may also want to take into account that even according to your own version of events, your dad had been running this business since before you created the eStore. Plus there's a huge gap in the middle of your story (college + job + own startup) where you didn't work for the business while your brother and dad did.
I guess what I am trying to say is: You deserve equity but not the 50/50 you seem to believe. According to your own version of events (which paints things in the best possible light for you), your dad still did the majority of the work, took the majority of the risk, and was paying for things for you while doing so.
I think your dad's greed is affecting his judgement, but frankly I think it is affecting yours too. As an exercise go rewrite this story from what you think your dad's perspective is, setting out what he did, and how things will look for him.
Again, you deserve equity, and I have no idea what he already gifted you. 20-30% would be in the ballpark of fair. But in general I think you're seeing green a little and just want more power than your brother for later, which isn't a healthy place to come from.
You could go get lawyers involved but win or lose, you'll lose.