>I had to hack my language way more and I think a generalized approach to teach kids how to identify words they use to undermine themselves will work better than being told what words they need to change.
Is this approach of yours about being more positive and less normative, and also being more optimistic that you can improve?
I dropped most words with opposites as a practice in nonjudgment. I kept a few around, like "love" and "can" because they're useful. "Can't" implies a belief that something's impossible. Believing that can keep us from imagining ways things CAN happen. It's therefore not useful to adopt the belief of "can't" if we want to explore possibilities. Having an exploratory mindset is really helpful while trying to learn how to meet one's needs.
This approach is about seeing a way through things by learning to let go of how I judge something in order to see a way through it. Everything is a learning opportunity, so I'm working to enable/configure myself to learn more frequently. I do experience deep optimism. As for positivity, I prefer to acknowledge both sides of the coin.
Does that answer your questions?
>I dropped most words with opposites as a practice in nonjudgment.
Don't pretty much all words have opposites? Looking at verbs, it's hard to think of ones that lack an opposite.
I really like this general idea, and thinking about it, I want to alter my language accordingly. I would appreciate any resources.
A core set of principles and language hacks came from nonviolent communication. I practically started with it and added a practice of acknowledging both words and their opposites (Maybe I mean adjectives with opposites, but maybe try it with whatever opposite-having words you catch?).
Here's a great free resource for NVC: https://youtu.be/O4tUVqsjQ2I
The nonjudgment practice went something like this:
1. Hear/read a word I detected as having an opposite.
2. Say "eh...<first word>...<its opposite>...eh" while shrugging and mentally considering the opposite within the same context.
3 weeks after having adopted the practice every day, I started enjoying foods I'd historically hated. Then I began enjoying everything in the world more, including people, country music, and watching sports.
Let's connect off-site and keep this convo going.
As an example, let's look at teaching them to use the word "yet" when speaking negatively about themselves.
This is a practice I took up at one point in my recovery from information addiction. It wasn't enough to really open me up. I had to make several other language hacks. I learned how to speak in active voice, largely dropped the words can't/should/shouldn't, and redefined a whole host of words for myself. I had to believe what I said, too, which we're awful at teaching how to do. I'm guessing it's because science is taught in a way that typically undermines the skill of choosing beliefs.
I had to hack my language way more and I think a generalized approach to teach kids how to identify words they use to undermine themselves will work better than being told what words they need to change. The purpose of the hacks is to change their perception, after all. Language is an indicator, but without a process to identify what meaning they give you words and what they believe, we probably won't see much improvement if we focus on superficial language hacks. Hacking perception takes more than that.