It hurts to watch you child starve because they are being picky. I had a teacher tell me she didn't want to eat peas one night, so her father sent her to bed hungry. She woke up a few hours later, went downstairs to her cold plate of peas still on the table, and ate the whole thing.

I had a classmate in high school who ONLY ate pancakes and fries. He was from a wealthy family and his mother had various supplements she would put in the pancakes to keep him healthy. We went on a week long canoe trip where you obviously can't eat pancakes and fries 24/7. 3 days in, this guy is starving, and for the first time in his life had pasta, trailmix, and eggs.

Children don't have fully developed faculties for reasoning, you can't take a reasonable approach to solving pickiness. Things seem to taste better the hungrier you get, so I think the approach to pickiness is to starve them out.

My dad made me sit at the table until I finished my milk and peas. After waiting two hours to spite him, I then had to drink warm milk and eat cold peas anyways. I learned pretty quickly that the manipulation didn't work on him.

I have no doubt that a lot of parents have that "my little angel" syndrome that keeps them from disciplining their children, but notice how that doesn't free them from the responsibility nor allow them to blame their kids.

I can appreciate that I was really fortunate to have parents that put in that sort of effort. My mom would also cut up vegetables like turnips for us after school that we would scarf down. They set me up for a healthy lifestyle as an adult that didn't take much effort on my part.

I know a lot of people didn't have those kinds of advantages, so they especially don't come naturally for them once faced with raising children and having to make those decisions themselves.

I wonder if it is a good approach to force children to finish their plates?

Seems like not. There are some studies [0][1][2] that show parental control over food intake may result in children's (mostly girls') obesity since it teaches children to ignore their satiety/hunger mechanism and thus overeat.

It may lead to the situation that once grown up, they could keep this habit of leaving the plate empty no matter how full they feel.

[0] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2045650/

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11358344

[2] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2384361/Leading-nu...

It's really super easy to judge people from the outside, especially with parenting. None of these decisions are made in a vacuum, and especially in low-income immigrant populations, there are many factors at play. When you've got a double digit food budget in which you can't waste a penny, no spouse around to help, and 3 kids who all need help with their homework, then fighting a nightly battle over eating food that takes longer to prepare and you could barely afford to begin with is probably a lot less important.