I believe we can come up with at least some pretty standard definitions of "being a jerk". Telling a racist joke where the point is to dehumanize the targeted race? That's pretty clearly being a jerk. Purposefully misgendering a trans person? Again, very clearly being a jerk (this doesn't count the situation where you don't actually know what gender, and accidentally use the wrong one, but it would count if you then stuck to your mistake, and obstinately refused to correct it).