Re:Ask HN: Am I introverted, or just rude?
by poushkar on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @07:30AM
(#16428938)
I had somehow a similar experience.
At some point I identified it as a problem and learned to start and keep up conversations with new people. Slowly I started liking that and it became more or less natural.
I still have "recovery" periods when I am just too tired or have no interest to talk to people, so I simply don't.
But those are quite short (few days a month), and the rest I use for visiting meetups and networking with other people.
I can recommend a few books I appreciated the most:
1. "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie - somewhat outdated but still gives a lot of basics.
2. "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships" by Leil Lowndes - more modern but not necessarily perfect, although I found a few important things for myself.
3. "How to Talk to Absolutely Anyone: Confident communication in every situation" by Mark Rhodes - same as above. Not perfect, but has some interesting ideas
At some point I identified it as a problem and learned to start and keep up conversations with new people. Slowly I started liking that and it became more or less natural.
I still have "recovery" periods when I am just too tired or have no interest to talk to people, so I simply don't.
But those are quite short (few days a month), and the rest I use for visiting meetups and networking with other people.
I can recommend a few books I appreciated the most:
1. "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie - somewhat outdated but still gives a lot of basics.
2. "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships" by Leil Lowndes - more modern but not necessarily perfect, although I found a few important things for myself.
3. "How to Talk to Absolutely Anyone: Confident communication in every situation" by Mark Rhodes - same as above. Not perfect, but has some interesting ideas