I've never been able to use that, every time I run the test it says initial page load is 10s, but I'm running it against a static website hosted locally.. how is it taking so long? Even if I visited my site from the other side of the world over 3g it would be faster than lighthouse accessing it locally.

Part of the audit includes throttling your connection to simulate a device on a slower link.

https://github.com/GoogleChrome/lighthouse/blob/master/docs/...

Still couldn't account for 10s for 5kb of html, something must have been really wrong, maybe I configured it incorrectly.