You guys need to seriously lighten up. The kind of thing that is happening here happens everywhere. People are more or less set in their ways and you, Tom and Jerry are no different. Each of you is trying to push the company in a direction that you're most comfortable with and each of you has different limitations and a pretty thick manual of operations attached to yourselves.

Work around each others limitations, reinforce each others strengths. You may want a company without Tom, but do realize you would have gone under long ago if he had not been there and such a situation is likely to recur.

Likewise, Tom may want everything to be nailed down but in the real world that is not always possible. So you catch him there.

All of you contribute essential elements to your partnership, the whole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

You also need to understand that three is the hardest number and that you all need to kick down a notch or two when times are stressful. You deal with your problems when times are good, not while the shit is hitting the fan.

Best of luck!