"Given that there is a finite amount of these things to distribute among a given number of people, the distribution that will maximize total happiness of the population is one where everyone is equal. That isn't theory, that's fact, with mountains of evidence."

"Evidence" like, say, North Korea? Cambodia under Pol Pot? The Soviet Union under Stalin? Maoist China?

Heck, people are so happy with the equality in Cuba that they'll cross shark-infested waters in rafts they've made of trash bags stuffed with styrofoam packing peanuts.

I think your "fact" is not supported by the...err...facts.