The problem is this. If you only get 3 weeks vacation / year, you usually leave 1 for family holidays (extended xmas, thanksgiving week), another for emergencies and then another 1 week for a traveling vacation with the family. In one week you can't get anywhere too far. You end up spending 2-3 days just traveling if you go half way around the globe. Then you only have 4 days left to actually have a "vacation". It's hard to relax in 3-4 days before having to pack your bags again. So I think people just shove as much stuff as they can into those 4-5 days and they have an "active" vacation -- because then it seems to them like they did more, but that often ends up being just as stressful as working (at least to me).

> is there some better way to spend a vacation?

Another way to do it is to go to a lodge in the mountains for 2 weeks. Hike, relax in a hot tub, read, enjoy some time together with the family, not browsing the web or reading work emails, not rushing anywhere.

Another option is the beach. I have no problem laying on the beach listening to the waves for hours. Just give me the time. Sure I like an "active" vacation -- but I also like to have the options for a relaxing "do nothing" vacation as well. That is what recharges my batteries at least. The typical American vacation time doesn't allow too much for that.

The only way to maximize and optimize your vacation is to maximize its length. In other words, to have lots more of it.

In Finland, I have five weeks of vacation a year and I usually take at least another five weeks of unpaid vacation. Public holidays don't count, of course, so I'll be home at Christmas and many other holidays regardless.

What I think is the point of a vacation is to re-learn to do nothing and not being bothered by your usual responsibilities. Everything seems to be about doing, doing, and doing these days.

Yet, people who must always be doing something have this very impenetrable zing around them that at least I do find it very difficult to even connect with them until they settle down for a while, reconnect with themselves and start being for a while.

If you ask me, that ain't the way we're born to live our lives. In order to have enough time at all, one must be able to afford to waste plenty of it. Otherwise your life goes by without you ever noticing.

The vacations I enjoy the most typically have:

-A start date

-A end date

-A location/destination

-One or more good friends/family

-A vague idea of what we'd like to do

Any time a vacation is actually planned beyond what flight or road to take and perhaps where to sleep, for me no fun is had at all. You spend all your time stressing trying to meet deadlines and worrying about what comes next, instead of living in the moment, which is what a vacation is all about.

I figure you know your vacation was done right when you wake up the last morning and think, "man, I don't want to leave"

That's a good start, but you've got a couple steps there that can cause problems. Here's my list:

- a start date

- a starting location

- a vague idea of what you can do there

As you said, having concrete plans can mess things up, but I find that having even a single date on the calendar is just too much of a constraint. Once you hit the ground, you just don't know how long anything is going to take. If you're due in a specific place at a specific time, you'll find yourself compromising, rushing, and skipping things even if that date is two months away.

Friends are nice to have along, but you need to plan your trip with the assumption that they won't come. Because they wont. And if you're waiting to book your flight until they decide on a good excuse, you could end up not going either.