In my experience, high earning women want even more high earning men because if she can do X, as a man, he should be able to do X+1. I hear this FAR more than anything else.

The second most common thing I hear is that men are intimidated by her. Sometimes this is true and sometimes they are just put off by her aggressive (masculine in their eyes) behavior. She of course rewords it make it sound like he shouldn't have a choice or preference (while she can).

It should be obvious that anyone who is too much of an outlier is going to have issues with marriage. Picture a man who is the image of a soft caring person who strives to be the best caregiver as a stay at home husband. Can he get married? Of course. Will lots of women reject him and think he's not a proper man? You bet! His behavior won't get him mocked my women, in fact he'll be so deep in the friendzone he be surrounded by women. Sexual attraction is another thing.

Regarding the comment about not doing more homework, I see it this way. Many men are simply unwilling to do it. I just can't be bothered. Her level of income won't change my attitude towards this. Does this restrict me to women who earn less? Probably. Most men who chase youth and beauty also end up with women who earn far less. It shows that her income is very low on the priority scale while his exemption from most housework is high.

Your solution is a valid one. Another is to try to make our society a more fair and balanced one so that income isn't as important in a spouse as it's getting to be if you're not already wealthy.