Re:Why American men are getting less marriageable
by michaelt on Friday January 26, 2018 @10:38AM
(#16239941)
there are a lot of potential negatives [...]
Why in the world is tying all of your assets
[...] a thing?
This started making much more sense to me when I noticed that, among my friends, 95% of people who get married have a baby within 12 months.
Once you think of "get married and have a baby" as a single atomic decision, all the "downsides" of marriage are overshadowed by the _inherent_ downsides to having children.
Marriages are difficult to get out of? Well, children are almost impossible to dispose of. Marriages can be personally costly? Children will take up a lot of time and money, no matter how rich you are. Marriages can involve one partner shouldering more than half the burden? Well, a man can't breastfeed a newborn at 4am no matter how much he wants to. And so on.
pitching the idea of marriage minus mixing
finances, [...] resulted in hours of crying.
The discussion might go more productively if you approach it from a different angle: Start by deciding if you want children together; then discuss the things that follow from that.
Once you think of "get married and have a baby" as a single atomic decision, all the "downsides" of marriage are overshadowed by the _inherent_ downsides to having children.
Marriages are difficult to get out of? Well, children are almost impossible to dispose of. Marriages can be personally costly? Children will take up a lot of time and money, no matter how rich you are. Marriages can involve one partner shouldering more than half the burden? Well, a man can't breastfeed a newborn at 4am no matter how much he wants to. And so on.
The discussion might go more productively if you approach it from a different angle: Start by deciding if you want children together; then discuss the things that follow from that.