Re the last sentence. I have in fact deliberately behaved in ways I never would in life, in a lucid dream; and flown around which doesn't work in real life. Did you swap negative for positive.

That's not ego-dystonic decision-making; that's just different things being possible in the embodied environment and you being aware of that.

That is: you can fly in a dream; you can't fly in real life. But if you could fly in real life, you probably would. Therefore, it isn't shocking to "watch yourself" decide to fly, if flying is obviously an option.

Consider, by contrast, ripping your own limbs off. Perfectly possible in reality, but nobody does it. If you did it in a dream, you'd wonder why "you" wanted to do that. It wouldn't make sense for you to make that decision, so probably "you" aren't you at the moment.

You might try some stuff, e.g. stepping off a cliff in order to fly, only if you're really quite sure you're in a dream. But "being sure you're in a dream" means "being sure your actions have no long-term consequences in reality", which allows many more things to be ego-syntonic.

Actually, every decision you make while asleep is different from the one you'd make while awake. The mind is less organized; different parts of the brain are active. See the studies re EMG suppression of various parts of the brain, and the effect of that on artistic ability for a close parallel.

Rarely - you can recapture that very different way of being while awake and have skills you never had before.