This was for a one time surgical operation. Long term ongoing care, as you've noticed, is gonna be a lot worse. That's what insurance is supposed to be for, not small shit like doctor's appointments, or manageable shit like surgeries. (Assuming you aren't covered by your employer or the government.)
The down payments, all told, were somewhat over $1000, $1200 or $1300 as I recall, and that's for anesthesiologist + surgeon after some amount of negotiation. The hospital had an assistance program that covered their end of the costs, which would have easily matched or exceeded the surgeon's bill otherwise.
The price for my sinus surgery was $40k.
Hell, when I went to the ER because I had pneumonia, and no insurance, I paid $700.
Where are you finding these prices for surgery - Tijuana?
As for mortgages, what's the saying? You can't con an honest man?
People pay more money for take-out coffee than it costs to make a decent and nutritious meal, and this is considered perfectly normal. It's not impossible to be fiscally responsible, just unfashionable.