There is an undercurrent of "This is completely unacceptable," but anyone who's been a pentester will tell you these are pretty standard enterprise blunders.

Rather than trying to expose malfeasance, try to write with a spirit of helping others correct problems. Everyone screws up security, even HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/security.html

Also, 21 exclamation points are a bit much.

If you're looking for a model for good technical writing, NCC Group makes some of their audit reports available publicly, e.g. https://www.nccgroup.trust/us/our-research/ricochet-security...