People behaving like traffic is a race still raises my blood pressure. At the end of the day I still need to get into the toll lane, but I can't because there's 20 cars trying to get back into traffic at 75mph and I'm far too damned courteous to butt in at 60mph. It's far more of a blessing than a curse (I'm getting far more out of my habits), but the downsides do certainly exist.
It's not at all consistent, but my behavior is sometimes viral. I'll see the vehicle behind me keeping a generous following distance, or letting someone in. Almost every time that I've tried to resolve a traffic jam in Seattle, the person behind me has caught on - they will keep their distance and keep rolling in order to compensate for the tailgating person in front of me.
> competition
My favorite competition is to improve the commute of those behind me. There's always the guy who cuts in front of me, forcing me to stop, but there's also always the guy behind me who has caught on. Getting everyone home quickly is a far more interesting, and far less pointless, than the game of trying to beat everyone else home.
I also try to position myself to make my merging intentions clear. I try to find a reasonable space to match speed and merge in, instead of trying to force myself in front. If traffic is completely blocked up, I will drive closer to the car in front if it's necessary to encourage a proper zipper merge. I sometimes see people getting really pissed off at that, usually the people who seem to be glued to the rear bumper of the car in front of them.
The basic rule I adhere to is that whoever's front bumper is the furthest forward gets to merge in front. It should be so self-evident and obvious, put people just don't want to let other people "win".
The same tricks from mindfulness and meditation can aid here: don't judge, have compassion, focus on breathing, acceptance (of thoughts and feelings including negative ones such as anger) and relaxation shall follow.
My favorite competition in traffic is to have the least amount of anger (or other negative emotions). If someone else is angry, don't let them influence you; stay calm and rational instead.
I also find a good way to reduce stress is making sure you don't resort to last minute stuff like having to rely on a green light, not taking into account regular traffic jams, having tight appointments or an overburdened agenda, or arriving at the train station 30 seconds before the train departs. Instead, one's schedule should take into account minor delays. If there's a massive traffic accident you might get delayed but that is both rare and reasonable. If everyone would follow this advice, we'd all have a much more pleasant traffic experience.
I believe James May (of Top Gear fame) specifically calls this "Christian driving". It's amazing how much more relaxed you are after a drive, if you simply stop thinking of traffic as a race or a competition. You're not going to change your arrival time by any significant amount anyway, so you might as well just relax.
In traffic, the only winning move is to not play.