The GTD book gets into this very directly. It talks a lot about the principal borrowed from martial arts of having a "mind like water." When a pebble disturbs the water, the water responds instantly with exactly the right amount of force and then returns to stillness. GTD is big on the idea of responding to emails, ideas, projects, new work items, etc, with exactly the right amount of response and then letting the problem slip out of your mind once you're confident that the thing to be done is filed and therefore will get done.

The trick to making the whole thing work is that you need to have confidence that, once something is on the list, it will get done. That's what allows you to stop fretting about the stuff on the list. But to get that confidence, you need to regularly do the stuff on the list.

"you only dread these dreary tasks when you're dreading them"

That is remarkably insightful and memorable. Thanks!

Do you remember the name of the book?

Not the OP but The Wisdom Of Insecurity by Alan Watts is a total life changer in my experience.

Yes, Alan Watts comes to mind in the context of Zen and dish washing :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx4fUpalvTU

I looked and looked but couldn't find it online. it was just called Zen Buddhism but the author had a very western name. The book had a pretty big impact on me but not in a religious or hooky "one with the cosmos" sort of way. More like it just sort of clicked with me, which is as good a description of the concept as any really. I may still have the book somewhere, if I find I'll post it here.

Are you referring to this book: https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Buddhism-Selected-Writings-Suzuki...?

Just seconding my interest in the book, if you manage to find it. Perhaps you could ask your friend if he remembers?