I don't consider it uncivil for someone else to say "fuck [my project]" after having trouble with it. I would consider it uncivil to write me messages saying "fuck you, you are an asshole for writing [my project]".

Maybe that's just me.

I personally feel that's just you. I'm genuinely happy for you that you can be unfazed, but many many people can't -- it costs them and taxes them. Someone not sticking up for those latter folks makes for a world where only folks with your brand of relating can cut it. That's kinda needlessly limiting, when the cost of things being better is just setting our collective arbitrary bar a little higher :)

Holding people to a higher standard doesn't make the world any worse -- it just means those people have to adapt, but that makes for a world that more and more of us (even those without your sorta soft skills) can navigate. That seems healthy?

Whatever you want to call it, it’s a temper tantrum. It’s what children do in supermarkets.