>So what can one do? How to approach it? Is there even a way to create a computer that both respects the end-user as its rightful owner and can be safely used to conduct business and pleasure on-line?

Take a look at Qubes. It virtualizes almost everything that is done on the system and it had a very solid security model. An example: your banking VM can be clearly marked and distinct from the (potentially one-time) VM you used to pen that dodgy-looking email attachment.