Yes, very familiar with finex and the bitfinexed guy's warnings / rants / whatever you want to call them.

If counterparty risk is a top concern (and it probably should be) then don't trade on unlicensed exchanges... That rule is great to follow and I haven't even gotten into any usdt tether issues...

couldn't you trade on decentralised exchanges where counterparty risk isn't a thing? at least if you're only trading between crypto pairs

Yes, decentralized exchanges (dex) are coming and I'm very hopeful.

However, the ones I have looked at / tested so far just aren't ready for primetime. Slow transaction times, lackluster user experience, no liquidity.

But those are all problems that are to be expected for what are basically beta-status projects (at best) and I am excited to see where things go from here.