If things don’t work out into a very long term relationship, entering his department would likely involve significant tension, if not hostility. How many people can work in close quarters with an ex? How many interactions can it bias - with him, with his current departmental colleagues? Will he handle it ending maturely? So many people don’t, and it’s a career at stake.
And if it does work out, or for as long as it’s working, she will be undermined as the recipient of nepotism rather than making her career transitions on merit alone. Running the risk of being seen as someone who sleeps their way to the top is also likely to have detrimental long-term career effects.
His asking closed doors for her just because she has foresight, not because he said “on the bed or on the road.” These are the sort of consequences that guys ignore when they whine about not being able to hit on women at work.
The irony is: guys with more foresight/maturity get this, so they don’t ask. It’s the guys asking who are -also- more likely to be a fucking problem, because they’re exhibiting bad judgment to begin with.
This isn’t some new over-sensitive ultra-feminist whatever whatever thing. “Don’t shit where you eat” is old advice, and always appropriate.
Given his high rank, I assume he had some authority. But, I didn't ever know the exact structure of the IT department.
I really don't like your second question for a long list of reasons. I don't really see that being a constructive dialogue.
His being attractive wasn’t relevant to the career effects. She literally just said, “too bad; I would’ve enjoyed going out with him if not for the career effects.” It’s... actually completely irrelevant to the point of the post, except to say “the career effects are bad enough that they make me say no even to people I’d otherwise like to date.” It’s evidence of the weight of the effect. It doesn’t make the asking-out better or worse, and it’s unclear why that’s the direction of your question.
Mostly not in work settings or work related settings, and much more carefully than in the past when dating norms hinged on the assumption that men were providers and women were destined to become homemakers. You have to consider how this impacts both your career and hers, not just yours alone.
To give an example that I hope elucidates something: A senior programmer at the company I worked for asked for a date under circumstances that did not constitute bad behavior insofar as being against company rules, nor would be a problem for his career. But it basically slammed doors shut in my face and made it less likely I could get a job in the department he worked in. He was an otherwise attractive man that I might have happily got involved with, but his monstrous disregard for how this impacted my career prospects was a deal breaker for me.
I hope sex becomes a less touchy topic over time, but I don't imagine it will ever stop being an issue.