I only killed one laptop in the end, the rest of the testing was done with VMs and a system that had a hardware EFI variable reset button. The issue that was triggering it on Samsungs was the driver that supported backlight control - it worked by writing a value to an address which triggered some system management mode code in the firmware, but that code only worked properly in BIOS mode. In EFI mode it generated machine check exceptions, which in turn caused the kernel to dump the backtrace to EFI variables.