Neural plasticity is just an artifact of the brain not making a distinction between software and hardware. Any general-purpose digital computer has infinite "plasticity", being able to execute any program that can exist (modulo memory limitations).

But computers can't build themselves, nor can they repair themselves.

neither can cars, but that doesn't stop cars from outperforming humans by some carefully chosen success criteria.

Nobody is going to measure silicon chips by their ability to self-replicate without external facilities. Your typical doomsday AI could just order more compute substrate from TSMC to take over the world. Which is in fact more or less what happens in TFA.

Another one that annoys me: memory is on the wrong end of the bus! The brain would be terrible at inference if all the memories were stored in the ass. Instead, the brain has the correct design: keep all the data where the processing happens and stick IO out on the bus.

That's a limitation of general purpose computers, not silicon itself. People do build ASICs with memory stored near where it is needed.