You're going to say "ewwwwww gross!", but: I do not brush my teeth. Haven't since I was 10 years old, I'm 34 now. The most I ever do is chew sugar free gum, or pick at my gum line with a fingernail in idle moments alone. You know, like humans did for a few million years. I have very little sugar in my diet.

When I go to the dentist every five or so years, they say "gosh you take good care of your teeth" and I smirk. Never had a filling, never had gum disease.

If I didn't chainsmoke and drink coffee like a gutter they'd not be slightly ivory coloured, as they are, rather white.

I view the dental hygiene industry rather like the anti-spot creme industry - once you start screwing with something, you have to keep screwing with it.

A final aside: I have 28 teeth, including wisdom teeth. Never had first molars, nor my mother or grandfather. Means the wisdom teeth fit just fine, and many a dentist who's not only convinced that I brush thrice daily but also had dental surgery. Apparently this isn't a common mutation.