Without a real architecture you don't get to complain that a hamhanded solution is less than optimal
If the mobile client can't handle 100,000 messages (probably more an issue of bandwidth or latency than local memory), then page them from the server. That's where serverside becomes relevant, at huge scale.
I'm not sure you understand how architecture of a mail or chat app would work.
https://www.checkpoint.com/products/capsule-workspace/#overv...
https://itunes.apple.com/il/app/check-point-capsule-workspac...
RN list views are terrible, as all the data is held in memory. For a chat or a mail apps, that's catastrophic. "Paging on the server" is not a solution; users want all their data on the device.
In my previous comment, I actually meant a different scenario than displaying a list. Take any proper mail client or a chat app; the first thing they do once a user logs in is start preloading previous data that can be found in cloud / on the server. Depending on the amount of data available, that is a very serious undertaking in and of itself, doing it efficiently enough in the background while updating the UI where needed upon insertion. This is just not possible in a single-threaded JavaScript.
Your mindset of only holding a small subset of data on the mobile is erroneous and is empirically not what users want; it's a web mentality and has no place in any app development but web. We went with this approach, albeit for security reasons. The result was the vast majority of users were unhappy. Users wanted a full blown Outlook in their mobile, and there was no reason not to give it to them.
The vast majority of popular chat and email apps keep at least some of the data on the server by default -- Gmail, K9 mail, Outlook itself -- so I don't see where there is proof that users want something different.
The main problem is large redux objects, which you're right - needs major refactoring. It's a pain.