If you don't like going to the cinema, why do you care about Cannes at all? It is a film festival which celebrate cinema and the associated mystique and glamour. Nobody is preventing you from watching whatever you want in your home cinema.
Again, I think you need to separate the building from the art.
That's not saying other forms of entertainment cannot have value, just that Cannes is about a certain form.
Conflating "form" with distribution as if the latter affects the first.
No, I'll give you a chance... But how do you think they review these things? It used to be DVD screeners but (ironically, here) Cannes set up an online VOD service for screeners. How do you assess something that has to be available via cinemas, on computer via a wonky streaming service?
This rule is simple (and classic French) protectionism of a distribution channel that is failing to compete.
I think it was David Lynch who said "If you haven't see my movies in a cinema, then you haven't seen my movies".
You may not care for this difference, but why does it anger you so that others do?
That's exactly the nonsense we're talking about here.
Distribution channel doesn't mean anything. There are strong correlations between being able to put on a show and production values, but it's not causative.
Define a movie by its actual qualities. Runtime, dialogue(?), even picture format... But forget about distribution. Lots of people have cinemas in their houses now. Where they don't have to pay £30 to be surrounded by sweaty strangers and sit on uncomfortable and dirty seats. Plus snacks and transport.