> the US simply seems culturally incapable of healthy approaches to easing kids through becoming adults on a number of dimensions

I couldn't agree more, and numerous problems are pretty much a direct result.

The worst part is that teaching kids about alcohol safely at home, European style, is ILLEGAL in much of the US, meaning that social services might come take your kids if they discover you gave them a glass of wine at Christmas.

I grew up in Europe. I was planning on letting my kid try a small glass of wine with food in their early teens. But doing so in the US, I actually risk jail and loss of parental custody. Let that sink in...

The US has a really unhealthy attitude towards alcohol that results in binge drinking and excess in college, and society here almost prefers it that way which is depressing.

PS - I know many parents ignore these laws, but the point remains, the law makes no exception for parental consent or at home.

I think you've oversimplified the legal situation here. Many states' laws do allow parents to give their children alcohol, but they may also allow the parents' practices in this regard to be considered as a factor in finding that they are unfit parents, which is a determination that should be made by a formal hearing, considering various evidence.

This may seem kind of bizarre, and perhaps the criteria in many states need to be made clearer and more objective, but it's not an inconsistent position. In many contexts the law allows parents to expose their kids to different kinds of risks, but if the overall amount of risk is considered too high, then the parents' fitness may be questioned. In the alcohol context, a judge might consider that letting children drink at meals in their parents' presence was not unfit parenting, but knowingly allowing the children to drink every day without any supervision was.

The state I'm currently in has no such exception. It is illegal for both the parent to supply and the child to consume alcohol at home. Both can be arrested.

This is true for several states.

Whenever I've gone to a beer hall in Germany the only super drunk people were American college students. It's really a shame, and you are absolutely right: We Americans are going the wrong way with this (and have been for decades).

My middle son turned 21 (legal drinking age here in the US) a couple of weeks ago. He never drank at all as a "kid." You couldn't give him a glass of wine at a holiday dinner, or a beer to watch a ball game or anything. Neither myself nor his mother were a part of his birthday celebration. I was honestly quite worried that he would be out with friends and have his first experience go horribly wrong. He has no idea how it will affect him. (Thankfully all turned out ok).

In Wisconsin, at least:

> Can an underage person possess and consume alcohol beverages on licensed premises?

> Yes. Persons under age 21 may possess and consume alcohol beverages if they are with their parents, guardians or spouses of legal drinking age; but this is at the discretion of the licensee. The licensed premise may choose to prohibit consumption and possession of alcohol beverages by underage persons.

https://www.revenue.wi.gov/Pages/FAQS/ise-atundrg.aspx

This site has a good summary[0] of Wisconsin, and in general I think Wisconsin's drinking laws are very sane.

But contrast it with Utah[1], Arizona[2], Kansas[3], North Dakota[4], Tennessee, Alabama, Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee, Indiana, West Virginia, Pennsylvania or Vermont.

[0] https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/APIS_State_Profile.html?...

[1] https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/APIS_State_Profile.html?...

[2] https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/APIS_State_Profile.html?...

[3] https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/APIS_State_Profile.html?...

[4] https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/APIS_State_Profile.html?...

Yeah, seriously...on a ski trip with my father in Vermont when I was a high schooler, I could not even CARRY A BAG with beer in it between the store and the car.

It boggles my mind that outside my small social bubble, people around my age (23) spend their whole weekends drunk. I'm not out to stop them and I accept their choices, but I wonder if it's also a result of our alcohol culture. Most people can't seem to enjoy just one or two beers.

I'd rather be drunk with them than hang out with you and risk falling off that high horse.

What we see as problems, the folks in charge see as profits.

You could say the same thing about Europe, the resulting problems are just different. The grass is always greener...

... on your own lawn?

How so?

> the US simply seems culturally incapable of healthy approaches to easing kids through becoming adults on a number of dimensions.

Unfortunately this is true and applies to a broad range of subjects.

When I was 14 years old I engaged a vocational school maintained by the Brazilian national railroad company.

There I learned a lot of metal working including welding and operating lathes. Spent 3 years there and ended up as a certified maintenance electrician for diesel-electric locomotives (never worked in railroads after that but several skills were useful both at professional and hobby situations).

Now the laws are more aligned with the USA and that school is closed. Such laws are said to be more "protective" as if teenagers are incapable of handling sharp tools. Brazil wastes no opportunity to dumb down.

7th grade shop class (ca. 1978) we were using drills, jigsaws, soldering irons, etc. We weren't allow to use the table saw but hand-held power tools were fine.

I don't think they even have shop in middle schools anymore.

We were doing the same, if you add in forging metal, in 2000-2001, so I doubt it's changed much.

When I visited Germany on a 1 month exchange, it seemed like it was the 10th graders that were doing stupid things around drinking, but of course none of them were even close to being the age at which they would have a car. Whereas in the US, I got my learners permit in 10th grade, and was driving myself to school in 11th (it saved about 30 minutes versus taking the bus).