I went through several years of depression, and I was VERY rude in any situation where I could get away with it - by which I mean, any situtioon where I knew I wouldn't get punched. It felt like I was able to be me, and not have to stick to the script.
>I was VERY rude in any situation where I could get away with it - by which I mean, any situtioon where I knew I wouldn't get punched.
There sure isn't any shortage of rudeness on these anonymous/pseudonymous online forums, and I'm sure much of it is precisely because people aren't afraid of getting punched, or really having to answer personally for their rude behavior.
You may consider yourself rude, but it takes a lot of guts to admit what you just did. There's a lot of honesty there.
There are probably others who feel very similar to you, minus expressing it. And you having posted it may have helped inspire an observer.
There are probably moments where you've been "right" and didn't notice it.
I can only answer this for myself and it is painful to do so.
I am, currently, a rude person. I haven't always been but I believe it is because of a deep disappointment in myself.
I find myself relishing moments in which I am 'right' and can vanquish those that are 'wrong'.
After these moments pass I am embarrassed.