It sounds like we have nearly identical personalities. Long lost brothers maybe :)

Yeah I figured out the confrontational thing a couple of years ago... after not realising it was an issue for about the first three years of my career. When I'm discussing an idea or an opinion, I tend to view it as totally separate from myself. So I really don't mind if someone attacks 'my' idea or opinion, and I'm generally pretty happy to jettison it if it becomes clear that it's wrong.

For those first three years I just assumed other people saw things the same way. Nope. Was pretty mortified when I realised that I'd probably been upsetting or offending people when I thought was we were just having a really interesting and vigorous discussion.

Have you ever taken a Myers-Briggs test? INTx? At any rate, thanks for the advice. It's a timely reminder that I need to put more conscious effort into improving here. It's all too easy to just lapse into misanthropy...