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Re:The Elements of Bureaucratic Style by ubernostrum on Friday April 14, 2017 @01:37AM (#14112883)
The linked piece offers a more detailed but also concise breakdown of how to do this:

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-interactive-guide-to-...

Stick around for the (genuine) statement from a police department at the end, and its translation.

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