And men can be condescending to men. Many engineers have a tendency to over-rate how much we know and to under-rate how much the other person knows, and it can come out in lots of ways in lots of interactions. It's not good in any of them.

And the time I did "mansplaining" the worst, I didn't do it because the recipient was female. I did it because she was a manager. I assumed she was only a manager. Big mistake - she wasn't. (Even if she had been only a manager, I still shouldn't have treated her like she didn't know what she was talking about, though.)

What's insulting about "mansplaining"?

EDIT: this could be seen as a rhetorical jab, but I really don't mean it that way, I'm just not sure in what context that would be insulting.

Good question. The term "mansplaining" is just another way of saying someone is being condescending, but with the underlying implication that they're being condescending because they're male. In our culture, men do tend to be more condescending, but by using the term, it implies that it's due solely to the fact that they're male, which is wrong.

A good example of the same thing would be if a woman that complains a lot and just seems to be in a bad mood is told she's "PMSing." Statistically it may be accurate, but the assumption is rude and sexist.

I think one of the points of its colloquial usage is as a form of protest to force us to reflect on our culture.

It's asking us to think about why the term bugs us, as well as how helpless it feels to be unable to stop being dismissed with terms like these no matter how much you explain it. We all have to change.

That's an interesting idea, but in my opinion, use of such divisive words are counterproductive, pushing men away from feminism instead of encouraging them to join. If the goal is equality, then foster an equal environment.

The goal is for women to be treated equally. That's on us, not them, and words like this being used on us are attempts to communicate that. They've been asking us for the equal environment for centuries. And if you honestly believe in women being equal, nothing would push you away.

"Mansplaining" doesn't hurt my feelings or oppress me and my expression at all. This isn't necessarily true for the hundreds of other words we use to dismiss women and their behaviour.

The goal is for everyone to be treated equally, not just women. People tend to create an us-vs-them mentality and form tribes, especially when they feel they're under attack. Much of the online backlash against feminism is due to militant, insulting forms of it that are popular on sites like tumblr that trigger this us-vs-them mentalities. That severely degrades the image of feminism when it seems to be anti-white guy. You can't allow sexism as long as it's against white men. If you do, you're part of why feminism is stalling.

"Mansplaining" doesn't oppress you like "PMSing" doesn't oppress women, which it does. It reinforces negative stereotypes and forms potentially false assumptions. Just because other people say mean things about women doesn't mean you should say mean things about men.

What I'm saying is you're deflecting the responsibility of creating ideal feminist societies back onto women to make it palatable to you, which goes against anything I've ever learned about responsibility and accountability after someone(women) tells you(men) something's wrong.

I understand what you're saying, but what I'm trying to say is that your approach is wrong. You're fighting fire with fire, and making an environment hostile to men in an attempt to make things equal for women. You won't win support by doing that. If we are to break down the barriers to equality, we must behave in a manner that will foster an equal environment for _both_ sexes.

It's a derogatory comment focused on one gender. The problem for me is that similar comments focused at women are often (and in my opinion correctly) viewed as sexist

"Getting outraged over perceived slights only fuels the division" is a pretty hilarious thing to say when you then go on to complain over and over again about the term "mansplaining"!

There is a big difference between getting outraged and discussing why I believe something is bad. Notice how I stayed calm and had a polite discussion with people who have different opinions than my own.