None of those are manual for the real thing. They just cover the easy parts.

It won't help you when exhausted, you have to get up at 3 in the morning, trip, brake a glass, open your hand and bleed on the last batch of milk. It won't help you to react to the effect of society on your child's language, choices and behavior. It won't help you with the feeling you get when you get mad and slap the child and instantly regret it.

And even for the things they talk about, RTFM doesn't make you not an imposter. Unless you practice it, theoretical knowledge has limited value.

You stop being an imposter after you had your children and are satisfied with the result.

And of course, there is no official manual, only hundred of ones contradicting each others, written by people whom expertise you can't easily assess yourself. On a topic that doesn't really have a clear way of demonstrating truth.

Reminds me of that saying: "Fake it until you make it."

But then again who is an expert in raising children? The problem is what works with some children doesn't work with others. Heck, even some children from horrible families become smart and good citizens of the world. The problem with raising children is no one really knows why! First hand experience.

There are a lot of experts in raising children. No one is an expert in your child, particularly when combined with your priorities, morals, family history, etc. If anything, it's a curation challenge: given the excess of good advice, books, experts, friends, parents, intuition, etc.—you have to wade through all that to find something that works for you and gets the results you want.

Yeah, there are a lot of books & experts but they're likely not going to be able to give you the actual answers you need for your particular situation.

Here's the clip! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EErpYvOdRf4

IMO part of figuring it out for yourself is a little research (which can be as basic as simple observation). Then you decide what to keep or trash as part of "yourselfing" it.