You're right. I'm also afraid of what the answer would be.

One had the loveliest wife you'd ever want to meet, a great match for each other, yet he couldn't stop himself from having serial affairs. He even asked me and others for help 15 years ago, but couldn't stop. He is now a lonely middle-aged guy striving to paper over the self-inflicted pain. (I know this, despite his denials, because I've known him for over 30 years.)

One has been completely inactive as far as I can tell, but the sense of "repression" has always been strong. I have no idea what the root of this is, but mutual friends have all commented on it at some point.

As for the remainder, it is best to draw the curtain of modesty over the scene.

Thanks for putting up with all these questions. You seem to have your own "Big Bang Theory" going on, but with more tears.

Ha ha, I'm embarrassed now by all the attention this thread got! Hopefully everything will go back to normal now that I'm sober and I can make my usual 2- and 3-point comments here and there.