The computational costs of larger block sizes are borne on the entire network, however the effects are most severe for miners as larger blocks tend to increase the profitability of large geographically-close pools in comparison to small pools [1]. This is why segwit is only an increase to ~2.1MB.
[1] http://bitfury.com/content/5-white-papers-research/block-siz...
The higher the tx backpressure, the higher the fees. The larger the block size, the lower the pressure regardless of overall tx volume.
However, miners can't simply apply the limit to themselves without a consensus rule. There is code in Bitcoin Core to apply a soft limit, but as long as there is any fee pressure, ignoring transactions leads to a disadvantage compared to other miners, so in practice all miners tend to always use the maximum permitted block size. Most proposed schemes for increased or variable block size still enforce the same size across all miners for this reason.
Incorrect. The most severe effects are on the nodes.
If their hardware is viable for an altcoin then it seems like increasing the Bitcoin block size would not be in their best interest. Why not maximize shortterm Bitcoin profits and hedge long term profits with altcoins?
Miners are playing a game of chicken to milk the fees while hoping users don't swerve to another chain.