100% the same and I agree. getting fired and being worried that my next decision will get me fired has caused me all kinds of anxiety issues.

I recently decided that given my personality I'm not well suited to working as an employee for an employer and have gone solo. I don't want to feel like a victim to bad management or that my future and personal worth are tied to a single company as good/bad as they may be. I want my efforts properly remunerated, I want my reputation to speak for itself.

So while these traits may make you less hirable as an office worker, they may make you more hirable as an expensive contractor.

I feel the same way. I jumped ship once but didn't have enough savings to ride it out. Getting independent work without a track record was extremely difficult.

Looking back, I think most people going solo start as contractors and also diligently save at least a half year living expenses before hand.

I've begun saving but it's slow going and I'm getting impatient. I greatly enjoy the feeling of making my own destiny and having employees to care for, the idea doesn't scare me as much as it seems to bother most people.

In a position of leadership it's possible to build your own little utopia. It was a great feeling to build a bubble in a world that's usually shit, where a lucky few actually enjoyed their work and each other's company. Alas that opportunity has passed and it's nigh impossible to go from the job title developer to manager without climbing a ladder for years and brown-nosing.

Anyways, how do you recommend getting started? Like most career devs my company has me locked down with contracts so the usual advice of starting a side business isn't possible.

^^^ I reached exactly the same epiphany, if you can call it that, about 3 years ago now. It might change someday but I can't be an employee any more. I just can't. I can't tolerate the idea of having so much of my time sucked up on something that offers so relatively little in the way of return. And I cannot cede my future to management any more; I have to own responsibility for it because, honestly, there's only so much future left for me (or for any of us).

Also makes you a target for layoff rounds. The yes men are always safe. You should have your finances sorted out if you plan to stick to your principles.

It probably won't, because most of that isn't predictable (by the interviewer) at interview time. It could make you more valuable in your current job, though.

invaluable, but they won't kick me more money. I asked.

Find another employer. Then negotiate from strength.

Then, not invaluable. :-/

They fired my whole team except for me. They would rather have fired me too, I'm sure.

I get what you're saying though.