Re:A neural link between affective understanding and interpe...
by derefr on Thursday December 15, 2016 @06:06PM
(#13189533)
"Having nothing in common" is not the same as "having nothing even potentially in common."
The parent meant, I assume, that they expressed the first one: that they don't currently know much about the other person's interests, and vice-versa.
That doesn't mean they won't learn about them. And, in fact, if the two people are compatible on a personality level, they'll likely turn out to enjoy similar interests—finding out about "things I liked but didn't know it."
But it does communicate something important: that if you're someone who isn't willing to learn about new things, and stretch your definition of "who you are" to encompass new things—i.e. to "invest yourself in the relationship"—then this won't work.
And that is an important thing to communicate, at some point (maybe not the first conversation, but at some point.) Some people really do just want a partner who likes "what they like", instead of a partner that will help them grow in directions they will enjoy only in retrospect.
The parent meant, I assume, that they expressed the first one: that they don't currently know much about the other person's interests, and vice-versa.
That doesn't mean they won't learn about them. And, in fact, if the two people are compatible on a personality level, they'll likely turn out to enjoy similar interests—finding out about "things I liked but didn't know it."
But it does communicate something important: that if you're someone who isn't willing to learn about new things, and stretch your definition of "who you are" to encompass new things—i.e. to "invest yourself in the relationship"—then this won't work.
And that is an important thing to communicate, at some point (maybe not the first conversation, but at some point.) Some people really do just want a partner who likes "what they like", instead of a partner that will help them grow in directions they will enjoy only in retrospect.