Maybe those communities were just dysfunctional, not nurturing, or the people making them up weren't good to be around anyway (in the sense of "you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most").

That doesn't indict communities and their social and emotional importance.

If anything, it proves GP's point. The coexistence of dysfunctional communities and no-community within a culture actually seems pretty congruent. It just points to both of these being caused by dysfunction in the culture.

Communities are of course important. A great many people find their communities critical to their social, emotional, and sometimes economic well-being.

Nearly every community is healthy and wonderful if they're like you in the ways you care about and you have membership. Nearly every community is dysfunctional if it's different in the ways you care about and you lack membership.

Most people I know seem to define "community" based purely on geography and some localist shared identity. I, personally, am not a fan of this. I find it too arbitrary and and far too likely to attempt to co-opt me into supporting things directly against understanding of my interests. I fully understand why some other people value such things.

And yes, it's possible that I'm just an asshole that nobody ever wants in their community.

It's also entirely possible that parent is just an asshole and those communities are better off without him.

What places are you referring to?

Large swaths of the American Midwest "have community", in the common sense of people in an area sharing and identity and caring about one another. People know each other. Look out for one another. Spend time together socially and culturally.

Of course, all of this only applies if you're sufficiently like them to be judged worthy of membership.

>Of course, all of this only applies if you're sufficiently like them to be judged worthy of membership.

Well, of course. A group who accepts anyone and everyone loses its identity. The real problem is that people don't have freedom of movement: that is, the ability to seek out and join a group that they truly fit in with.

Arguably, part of the problem is that people do. The ones who do come into conflict with the people who have no desire to use their freedom of movement.