> People don't like it when someone tries to predict their reaction to something.

What? How exactly do you expect to pleasantly surprise your significant other if you can't predict what they'll like? How could you possibly buy them gifts? I'm pretty sure that predicting what I like is something that pretty much everyone is perfectly ok with.

You'd think so, but research suggests that isn't the case. There was an interesting psychological study recently that showed the best gift (in terms of how happy the receiver is) reflects the personality of the giver rather than the recipient[1]. You might not mind, but other people do. And obviously it depends hugely on the situation, people involved, relationship, etc.

[1] https://digest.bps.org.uk/2015/07/31/what-weve-been-getting-...

> There was an interesting psychological study recently that showed the best gift (in terms of how happy the receiver is) reflects the personality of the giver rather than the recipient

That's great, but you claimed that your partner wouldn't like it if you try to predict what they would like. The link you provided actually says the opposite: that people say they prefer gifts tailored to their preferences, which means they wouldn't mind you predicting what they'd like, contrary to your original claim.

Well, that's definitely one for the "suspicious until replicated" bin. They generalized all that from asking people to buy a single song off iTunes. Off the top of my head, people are better judges of music quality in their preferred genres. There's also not much to distinguish "a song bought from iTunes that I like" vs "a song bought from iTunes I think you'll like" in terms of thought invested, allowing smaller effects to dominate.

I suspect if you broadened the scope even a little, the effect would reverse. How about beverages? Alice likes coffee and hates whiskey. Bob hates coffee but loves a single malt. What should Alice and Bob get each other for Christmas?

> People don't like it when someone tries to predict their reaction to something.

They probably don't like it if you set it up as a trap for them, but surely a lot of the "little things" in a long-term relationship are exactly this kind of prediction? Knowing their favourite X and least favourite Y?

Partner dances are rather old fashioned these days, but I think one of the reasons for their long popularity is precisely mutual prediction - it's a little test of whether you're able to sync up with someone and go in the same direction.

I'm constantly trying to predict what people are going to do, but it isn't voluntary, at least I don't think it is. I have to construct a mental model of the people around me, and to do that requires constant evaluation, testing, and adjustment.