> It's written for the serial daters who reject suitors for ultimately irrelevant reasons.
Do you feel that dating sites help cultivate a mindset in people that predisposes them to doing this? I do - I think many dating sites (OKCupid in particular) swamp you with irrelevant information. In my experience, it seems like people are perfectly willing to use superficial reasons to say "no" to potential partners. I'm not talking things like political views or religious beliefs; I'm talking about things like weightlifting or liking Taylor Swift. Is it the perception that these sorts of things go hand in hand with other behaviors, or fit into a preconceived notion of "what kind" of people like this sort of thing? I'm inclined to believe so.
Just a mild rant. I liked this article a lot when it first came out and I'm happy to see it pop up again.
Of course it's possible to be wonderful friends with your roommate, but the point to be made is that if that's your grand sum of what you expect out of a relationship, you're going to feel profoundly lonely, unsupported, and unloved. Fulfilling our emotional needs is also important, and dating sites that focus on finding people who are similar to each other are sites which understand that people will build that relationship of love, trust, and understanding on a foundation of what they have in common.
What the author is trying to remind us is that no matter who much in common we have with someone, and thus no matter who we marry, there will be areas in which we will differ from and disagree with our partners. As such, healthy dating requires you to find not only that base of similarity but also that ability to disagree without a sense of disappointment that you disagree with The One on something.
So the article isn't meant for people in healthy marriages. They already understand that. It's written for the serial daters who reject suitors for ultimately irrelevant reasons.